and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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