the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
