BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
