Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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