Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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