whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
