hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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