But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
