So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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