Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
