I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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