you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
