if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize