He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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