She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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