margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
