There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
