oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize