I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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