Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
