come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
