im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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