He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
