I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
