What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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