If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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