soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
