so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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