I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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