moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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