Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
be right there i have to get my cape
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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