so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
