I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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