You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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