At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
