just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
