But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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