All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
