Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
