We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
