I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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