I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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