She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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