i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
