I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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