i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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