Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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