She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
