If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
