he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
