What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
