We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
