doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
