im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize