would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
