There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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