In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
