Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think my fart just growled at me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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