and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
