Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
