i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
