i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
