I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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