is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize