Jerry, you need to find god
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
