I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
