Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
operation have a gay friend backfired
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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