We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
