I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Randomize
