too bad you live with your parents still
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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