The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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