i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
