Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
