so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
