how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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