The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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