the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
