you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
