I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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