i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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