He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
