Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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